Daily Colbert 2008

Daily Colbert lopo

12/10'08 You're like the Illuminati or the Masons ... CFR CEO Richard Haass
(Erin Burnett: "They can be honest about what they think, and that's very difficult to achieve in a public forum.")

11/19'08 Moneytheism
11/18'08 The fightin' vetters
11/06'08 Colbert 007
11/04'08 Mainstream, I can paddle a canoe in you! From a truthbank!

10/28'08 Sherman Alexie: Diary of a part-time Indian. Lick everything you own
10/21'08 Battle of the Gods
10/14'08 Joseph Stiglitz: We haven't seen the worst by far
10/06'08 Steinbrück's balls
10/02'08 Shakespearean Candidates – "Don't fuck with me!"
10/02'08 Naomi Klein's "The Shock Doctrine" – The Rise of Disaster Capitalism ("no risk capitalism")
10/01'08 If you're old enough to vote ... Campbell's Soup

09/30'08 This financial disaster is like painting the whole floor
09/25'08 Reptiles
09/24'08 Ivy League intellectual Bill Bennett slams intellectualism
09/18'08 AIG too large, endangering the entire world
09/17'08 A giant fresh pile

08/11'08 The Catholic Latino wave. Medical Marijuana. Joe Biden 2,7 %, Colbert 2,3 %

07/30'08 Hand gun freedom. Crappy Canton
07/28'08 Heroic decision to not talk (incl. shot)
07/24'08 AstroWristStrong. First openly gay bishop
07/22'08 But I appreciate your obedience.

06/03'08 Hayden, Cheney, Chertoff
06/02'08 Scott McClellan's Media Culpa
"It's hard to get a read on this guy.
One the one hand, he sold out the president, stabbed him right in the gut where the president makes his desicions. But on the other hand, he did have the courtesy to do it too late to change anything. [...]
In his book McClellan takes a brake from bashing the president to bash the Washington Press Corp: They were 'complicit enablers' of the Iraq War, and adding their primary focus was on 'covering the campaign to sell the war, rather than aggressively questioning the rationale for war or pursuing the thruth for war or pursuing the thruth behind it.' I have to give Scott credit:
It takes balls to blame the press for swallowing the crap you personally shuffled them.
It makes me very excited for his next book 'Why did you buy my first book?'"

05/29'08 Watching the report from orbit
05/29'08 "These are shocking revelations, in that is shocking that McClellan thinks that are revelations.
We've heard this crap for years, folks!
Did he write this book or just lift junks up from
Richard Clark's book Against All Enemies
Georg Tenet's book At the Center of the Storm
Paul Bremer's book My Year in Iraq and Barney the dog's book 'Who Let the Dogs of War Out?'"
05/14'08 Grover Norquist – Leave us alone
05/14'08 Who plays Jesus? Declaration of Warming
05/08'08 Colbert goes intergalactic
05/07'08 33° Freemason – "I know what's that like." Hasan Elahi, my favorite terrorist

04/30'08 The church has its own processes
04/28'08 Feist – I Feel It All and As Long As You Call Me
04/22'08 Elitism and truthiness
04/21'08 James Martin SJ – Ratzinger, the Pope's Rottweiler
04/08'08 You really can feel the original sin

03/31'08 Intellectual vitamins
03/20'08 Water is Life. When water burns
03/19'08 You helped this happen. Shame on you, soldiers!

02/28'08 William F. Buckley Jr. and Richard Brookhiser
02/11'08 Philip Zimbardo: The Lucifer Effect
02/05'08 Torture is chic now) John Galliano turned Abu Ghraib into Abu Grabulous.

01/31'08 Andrew Napolitano – A Nation of Sheep
"I am Freedom! [...] Sheeps aren't so bad as long they have good shepherds: people like you and me, and the folks over at Fox tell them what to do, what to think, and what to feel. And then they live their live peacefully without thinking about facts or logic, God help us. Look how happy my sheep are! [...]
A Nation of Sheep. And proudly so."
01/28'08 Obama just like JFK. POp(e)rah
01/24'08 Bill Clinton is acting like a sphincter

10/02'07 John Mearsheimer – The Israel Lobby
09/19'07 Naomi Wolf – The End of America
08/22'07 Richard Branson, British billionaire, and the Colbert Army
08/16'07 Gossip demeans us all
08/16'07 Andrew Keen – Cult of the Amateur (Internet has replaced professionals with amateurs)
08/14'07 3 out of 4 European subgroups Jewish
08/14'07 Free after 26 years guiltless in prison
07/18'07 John Mellencamp ("I'm authority and authority always wins.")
06/27'07 Daniel Gilbert – Stumbling On Happiness
06/21'07 Vincento Bugliosi – Reclaiming History
06/11'07 Michael Gershon – Your gut has a mind of its own
06/07'07 Cullen Murphy – Are We Rome?
05/09'07 Fantasies renoticed (Jane Fonda)
04/24'07 Four decades of solid research of mind-body interactions. Andrew Weil: House too cynical
04/24'07 Fox – a Disney movie about the news. The Secret
04/18'07 Paulina Porizkova
02/08'07 Debra Dickerson gets confused
02/05'07 Teach for America (Wendy Kopp)
01/18'07 Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly

12/14'06 Daniel Pinchbeck – Quetzalcoatl Returns
12/07'06 God's plan for giving upgrades
10/30'06 Duet with Barry Manilow
10/10'06 Ariel Levy – Female Chauvinist Pigs. Cooking with Jane and Gloria
08/14'06 Walking a mile in Geraldo's mustache
08/09'06 Jesuitism at work (Alexandra Robbins)
06/28'06 Armor of Belief (Robert Baer, Jesuit Alumnus)
06/20'06 Bart Ehrman – Misquoting Jesus

No Fact Zone, Colbert at the O'Reilly Factor, O'Reilly at the Colbert Report, The classical press
Stephen Colbert groks the Viacom vs Google suit
04/26'06 White House Correspondents Dinner. A conversation with Stephen Colbert
04/03'01 Semantics

10/01'08 Stephen) Tonight: Is the news media too aggressive?
Anybody accuses me of that I will punch them in the throat!
Then: Voter registration is up among young people who thought they we signing up for X-Box Live.
And my guest Dave Levin runs some of the highest performing public schools in the country.
Huh, I always though that was pronounced private school. I think, therefore you are. This is the Colbert Report.
[...]
Luckily there is a new way to report the news and it's tonight's Word: Future Perfect.
Last week folks, China launched its third manned space mission, but hours before the Chinese shuttle even left the ground, the Chinese state news agency called the mission a major success reporting that: "The ship disappears below the horizon. Warm clapping and excited cheering breaks the night sky ..." Well done China! For one thing, reporting a successful space mission before it happens is a lot easier than building a soundstage in Arizona. (Soundstage actually made in China) But more importantly, reporting on future events is a giant leap for mankind. (To journalistic integrity and beyond!) You see folks, we can stay ahead of the bias mainstream press by reporting the facts before they actually exist.
John McCain is already on board. Last Friday, hours before last Friday's Presidential debate began, the McCain campaign posted this ad on WallStreetJournal.com: McCain Wins Debate! He was able to get his version of the story out before the press could mangle it with what happened ("Winner fakes all" has been censored).
You see it's not just John McCain, last Tuesday, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson also made pre-history when he explained who put taxpayers on the hook for this Wall Street bailout.

They got put on the hook by the system we have, the system we all let happened, the system that Congress, the administration, future administrations let exist ...

See! Secretary Paulson and the Bush administration are only slightly responsible. (And even less effective) Really, in actuality folks, it is not them, it is future administrations who are really to blame for this mess, which reminds me.
Breaking News: It's official, Hillary Clinton's 2012 Presidency is responsible fore destroying the economy four years ago. But the best thing about before it happens reporting is the outcome can be anything you want. (Cubs win! Cubs win!) After all, if anybody out there says: Hey, you're lying! I can just report another story from the future: Federal investigators have discovered that people who called me liar are terrorists who are also fat.
Now, tomorrow night is the big Vice Presidential debate, by the way: Breaking News: Sarah Palin gutted Joe Biden and wore him like a pantsuit. Wow! That is big news, I cannot believe I am the only one who reported that.
Now we all know Governor Palin has a lot of foreign policy experience, because from Alaska she can see Russia. (But not evolution) More to the point, Russia is on the other side of the International Date Line from Alaska, it's tomorrow there. So when Palin looks at it, she's actually seeing the future. (Where she got her kids' names) This is just more proof that in this new golden era of tomorrows news today, Palin has the experience we need, (Or will later) because if pre-reporting the future works, we can base opinions and decisions of today of facts that don't exist yet and build our own bridge to the future. (Nowhere)
And that's the Word.