March 9, 2011

ArGe-Tube


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07/04'10 Deutsche Rundfunk-ArGe: So geht Krise



Die Seibert-Wilhelm-Rochade – Akte dosierter Vertraulichkeit pt 2

08/11'10 Seiberts Rückkehrrecht zum ZDF

Ab heute ist Steffen Seiberts Merkels neuer Regierungssprecher. Er nennt das eine "faszinierende neue Aufgabe" für einen "leidenschaftlichen Journalisten" wie ihn.
Steffen Grimberg, "taz": "Er hat ein Bild von Journalismus, wo beides geht, wo man also auf beiden Seiten dieses berühmten sprichwörtlichen Tisches agieren kann – mal als Verkäufer von Nachrichten und mal als Käufer, als Konsument von Nachrichten, der das dann an die breitere Öffentlichkeit vermittelt, also als Journalist – und das ist natürlich eine eher problematische Auffassung."
Dirk Kurbjuweit, "Spiegel": "Er wechselt die Seite, und wir als Journalisten betrachten ja eigentlich Politik. Jetzt muss er Politik verkünden, und das, finde ich, ist etwas, was überhaupt nicht zum Journalismus passt."

Er gilt bis heute als einer der einflussreichsten Regierungssprecher – auch Klaus Bölling kam einst vom öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunk und wurde der Vertraute von Helmut Schmidt. Wie kaum ein anderer beherrschte er das Geschäft, denn er wusste, dass es mit leidenschaftlichem Journalismus wenig gemein hatte.
Bölling – Regierungssprecher 74-80:

"Es gibt Situationen, in denen man nicht die ganze Wahrheit sondern nur die dosierte Wahrheit in der Öffentlichkeit den Journalisten mitteilen kann. Da kommt es schonmal vor, dass man ein Paket, in dem nicht sehr viel Inhalt ist, mit ein paar Schleifchen dekoriert."

Auch Ulrich Wilhelm dekorierte mit vielen Schleifchen: Fünf Jahre lang verkaufte er Merkels Regierungspolitik. Immer freundlich. Immer optimistisch. Wilhelm: "Aus Sicht der Bundeskanzlerin und der Bundesregierung ein positives Signal ... dass am Ende eine gemeinsame, auch gute Lösung stehen muss ... wichtig ist, dass die Bundesregierung in dieser Frage geschlossen auftritt ... für uns stellt sich das als eine gute Lösung dar."
Der smarte Wilhelm wurde von Journalisten sehr geschätzt, doch nun wechselt auch er die Seiten und wird wieder einer von ihnen. An der Spitze des Bayrischen Rundfunks.
Kurbjuweit:

"Er hat wirklich intensiv, leidenschaftlich für Angela Merkel gesprochen. Dass er jetzt zum BR geht und Angela Merkel kontrollieren soll als Chef einer journalistischen Anstalt, das ist mir eine Metamorphose, die geht zu weit.
Und die ist auch so schnell in meinen Augen nicht zu machen."

Beim BR will Wilhelm seinen Intendantenposten erst im Februar antreten – nach einer Anstandspause. Kritiker beschwichtigt er mit geübtem Optimismus: "Ich glaube aber auch, dass ich durch meinen bisherigen Lebensweg und auch durch die Art und Weise, wie ich mit Medien umgegangen bin, auch Gewähr biete, dass das bei mir in guten Händen ist."
Grimberg:

"Ein Sprecher lernt führende Persönlichkeiten der Politik – die Bundeskanzlerin, die Minister – auf eine ganz andere Art und Weise kennen, kennt ihre Schwächen, weiß um Fehler, hat viele Insiderkenntnisse, die er als Journalist hinterher ja nutzen müsste.
Das verbietet aber diese Loyalität."

Loyal war auch Klaus Bölling sechs Jahre lang an der Seite von Helmut Schmidt, denn nur bedingungslose Treue sichert den Zugang zur Macht. Bölling: "Wir kannten einander, wir vertrauten einander – und wenn das nicht nach Angeberei klingt in Ihren Ohren – ich war mit der Gedankenwelt dieses Hamburgers wirklich vertraut."
Thomas Steg ("Die Grenzen hat das Bundesverfassungsgericht abgesteckt."), stellv. Regierungssprecher bis '09:

"Man versteht sich fast blind. Der Sprecher muss sich hineinversetzen können in den Spitzenpolitiker oder in die Spitzenpolitikerin. Er muss wissen, wie sie tickt, warum sie so tickt, was sie vorhat.
Er muss im Grunde genommen wissen, was sie machen möchte, bevor sie's selbst ahnt."

Ein langer Weg für einen Neuling im Berliner Medienzirkus, der sich seinen Platz an der Seite der als misstrauisch bekannten Merkel erst erarbeiten muss. Steffen Seibert aber hat sich eigentlich entschieden – für die Nähe zur Macht und gegen den Journalismus – und dennoch hat er sich vom ZDF ein Rückkehrrecht vertraglich zusichern lassen. Das sei so üblich, sagt das ZDF, doch im Sender sind viele entsetzt.
Seibert selbst schweigt in eigener Sache.
Kurbjuweit:

"Das wirkt ja so, als könnte man wirklich ganz natürlich erst mal Journalist sein, dann Regierungssprecher und dann auf jeden Fall wieder Journalist werden, egal was man als Regierungssprecher da so getrieben hat."

Thomas Steg sagt: "Es gibt, glaube ich, Positionen und berufliche Angebote, da sollte man sich nicht rückversichern, und man tritt Reisen an, ohne 'ne Rückfahrkarte zu kaufen.
Und diese Reise von Mainz nach Berlin hätte er besser ohne Rückfahrkarte machen sollen."

Auch bei der ARD sind Rückfahrkarten nicht generell ausgeschlossen. Auf Zapp-Anfrage erklären acht von neun Anstalten, dass bei ihnen ein Rückkehrrecht für Sprecher nicht festgeschrieben sei, jeder Einzelfall müsse geprüft werden. Beim NDR gab es vor Jahren einen Fall – hier wurde kein Rückkehrrecht gewährt.
Nur der RBB hat für solche Fälle eine eindeutige Haltung: Es gibt kein Zurück.

"Wir sind der Ansicht, dass man nach solch einer herausgehobenen politischen Tätigkeit nicht weiter in seinem Metier im öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunk arbeiten kann."

Sie aber meinen, dass sie das können.
Erst schönreden, dann aufklären. Nah dran sein, dann Distanz wahren. Loyal sein und dann enthüllen.
Steg: "Die Unabhängigkeit des öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunks wird jetzt wieder kritischer gesehen, und das finde ich bedauerlich."
Kurbjuweit:

"Im Moment aber wird ein Eindruck verbreitet, als gäbe es, als wäre das sozusagen eine Bruderschaft, das ZDF und die Politik, oder: Das öffentlich-rechtliche Fernsehen und die Politik sind eine Bruderschaft, da kann man einmal die eine Position ausfüllen, dann wieder die andere, und dann kommt man zurück – als sei das alles das gleiche."

Aber es ist eben nicht das gleiche. Es ist genau das Gegenteil.
Bölling:

"Wenn manche Leute heute sagen, die öffentlich-rechtlichen Anstalten kommen in den Ruf, dass sie sozusagen die Casting-Agentur des Staates sind ... gut das macht einen jedenfalls etwas nachdenklich. Also ich hatte keine Rückversicherung."


"Steffen Seibert betritt die Welt der Intriganten"


08/25'10 Teufelskreis von Politik und Medien


08/11'10 Rückblick: Wallraff 1977 undercover bei "Bild"

Der Mann, der Hans Esser war: Günter Wallraff. 1977 hatte der Journalist undercover bei der "Bild"-Zeitung als Reporter gearbeitet. Sein Erfahrungsbericht "Der Aufmacher" wurde ein Knaller. Der Film dagegen, "Informationen aus dem Hinterland", ist bis heute nie ganz im deutschen Fernsehen gezeigt worden und verschwand im Archiv des WDR. Der Sender hatte rechtliche Bedenken.
Jetzt, 33 Jahre später, hatte der Springer-Verlag versichert, er habe nie vorgehabt, gegen den Film vorzugehen. Und deswegen können wir sie jetzt zeigen [denkste!] die Szenen aus einem umstrittenen Zeit-Dokument.
Wallraff:

"Ich glaube, wenn ich mich in dem Film wiedersehe, ekle ich mich vor mir selber.
Weil ich war in dieser Zeit der "Bild"-Reporter Hans Esser."

März 1977: Günter Wallraff auf dem Weg zur "Bild"-Redaktion Hannover. Letzte Absprachen mit dem ehemaligen "Bild"-Redakteur Alf Breull, der Wallraff in die Redaktion einschleust.
Breull: "Es kommt besser an das aggressive Reden."
Wallraff: "Aggressiv, ja?"
Breull: "Ja, das kommt besser an."
Wallraff: "Voll rein!"
Breull: "Ja."
Es klappt, er kriegt den Job und ist schon nach dem ersten Tag als Reporter erschüttert:

"Ich glaube, es ist die schwierigste Rolle, die ich überhaupt jemals gemacht habe. Eine Schwerstarbeit! Drecksarbeit in einer Fabrik am Fließband ist dagegen also fast eine Erholung. Weil dieser Schmutz, dem man hier ausgesetzt ist, da hat man keine Distanz, keine Abwehrmechanismen."

So wird aus einem harmlosen Termin – eine Frau macht Kampfsport – ein reißerischer "Bild"-Artikel.
Wallraff versucht sich: "Sind Sie schon mal vergewaltigt worden?" "Nein, eigentlich kann ich mich damit nicht ..."
Viel zu vorsichtig. Ex-"Bild"-Reporter Breull hilft nach, damit aus der jungen Frau eine "Bild"-Geschichte wird.
Breull ruft sie an: "Sie haben aber gelernt zu töten?!" "Nein, das könnte ich nicht behaupten."
Breull: "Sie gehen beispielsweise nachts durch die Eilenriede, und es stehen plötzlich irgendwie vier Typen vor Ihnen. Der erste greift Ihnen also an die Bluse, der zweite unter den Rock, was tun Sie dann? Legen Sie sich hin oder was tun Sie?"
"Also, da ich noch niemals in einer solchen Situation war, kann ich diese Fragen wirklich nicht beantworten."
Egal, in "Bild" steht später: "Jung, blond und gefährlich: Angela Hoffman[n] (Hannover, damals 20, blond) kann mit einem Tritt [...] jeden Räuber oder jeden Rocker auf der Stelle töten." ("Bild" 1977)
Es funktioniert. Günter Wallraff schreibt, was der Reporter Hans Esser an die Redaktion liefern muss.
Wallraff:

"Selbst wenn man draußen ist auf einem Termin und hört sich irgendwo einen Informanten an, dann muss man unterbrechen, ans Telefon, man muss der Redaktion, hier dem Redaktionsleiter beantworten: Was hat er gesagt? Was ist los? Was steckt drin? Wie ist die Geschichte? Das heißt, man reflektiert dann gar nicht mehr so, wie man es erlebt, sondern so, wie er es hören will, um die Geschichte ins Blatt hineinzufädeln."

Dafür erfindet Esser z.B. Zitate. "Bei Sturm schwappt das Wasser aus der Badewanne."
Das hatte zwar nie jemand gesagt, aber Skrupel lernt er schnell über Bord zu werfen:

"Je nachdem in welcher Schicht, in welchem Milieu das angesiedelt ist, braucht man weniger Sorgfaltspflicht. Wenn das in den unteren Schichten sich abspielt, da braucht es vorne und hinten nicht zu stimmen. Wenn es jetzt natürlich in die gewisse High Society reingeht, da muss man sehr vorsichtig verfahren, damit die Sachen auch stimmen."

Vier Monate arbeitet Wallraff undercover bei "Bild", führt ein Doppelleben. Zeigt sich nur selten in der Kantine und wird doch erkannt:

"Ein Journalist, den ich bis dahin nicht gesehen hatte, sprach mich an: 'Sie sind doch der Günter Wallraff.' Ich dachte, es ist alles aus und fing mich dann aber gerade noch so und sagte, ja, da bin ich schon mehrmals mit verwechselt worden, aber der hat doch eine Brille und einen Schnauzbart."

Manchmal schafft Wallraff es, Artikel in seinem Sinne ein wenig zu verändern. Aber vor allem dokumentiert er, wie eine Zeitung Mitarbeiter und Leser manipulieren kann: "Die Macht des Blattes ist unheimlich. Das ist meiner Ansicht nach also eine politische Macht, wie wir sie stärker hier überhaupt nicht haben."
Günter Wallraff hat übrigens damals einen Rechtshilfefonds für "Bild"-Opfer ins Leben gerufen. Er hilft zum Beispiel bei schweren Fällen von Rufmord. Und das bis heute.


07/31'10 Bernhard Antony, der Käsepilger
07/27'10 Die ungerechte Republik
07/25'10 Eichmanns Ende ("Dokudrama")
07/20'10 Tagesschau(.de)-Interview "mit dem Geographen Barth":
"In einer Brandung passiert etwas" und "Cyanobakterien, die luftdichte Matten bilden."
07/18'10 Elefanten im Minenfeld
07/03'10 "Als Pastorin stationiert"
06/13'10 Die miesen Tricks der Ölkonzerne bei Schadensersatzansprüchen
04/11'10 Giftmüllfahndung per Satellit mit Sonia Silvestri


01/20'10 Wie Bischöfin Margot Käßmann angefeindet wird

Margot Käßmann immer im Mittelpunkt der Aufmerksamkeit und der Medien – sie ist die Vorzeigefrau der "Evangelen". Eine öffentliche Person, offen auch in ihrer Meinung über Afghanistan ... Ihre Worte zum Einsatz der Bundeswehr sind tagelang das Thema, "als sie es wagte, gegen den Krieg in Afghanistan zu predigen." Dabei hatte sie nur das getan, was sie schon seit Jahren tut: In ihrer Neujahrspredigt in der Dresdner Frauenkirche hatte sie Position bezogen zum Klimawandel, zur Kinderarmut und gegen den Krieg.

"Nichts ist gut in Afghanistan. All diese Strategien haben uns lange darüber hinweggetäuscht, dass Soldaten nun einmal Waffen benutzen und auch Zivilisten töten."

Zündstoff für die Medien, denn Käßmann "löst Empörung aus" ("Die Welt" 01/03'10). "Bild" fragt provokativ und in typischer "Bild"-Manier (01/11'10): "Darf eine Bischöfin den Einsatz unserer Soldaten so verurteilen?" Angeblich "fürchten die Soldaten um kirchlichen Rückhalt" ("taz" 01/05'10).
Käßmann:

"Sie werden keinen Satz von mir finden, in dem ich den sofortigen Abzug der deutschen Truppen aus Afghanistan fordere, aber Sie werden finden, dass ich gesagt habe, es braucht immer auch eine klare, parallele Abzugsstrategie. Es kann nicht ständig nur um Truppenerhöhung gehen."

Und trotzdem wird zugespitzt: "Käßmann will das Militär schon lange überflüssig machen" (FAZ 01/05'10). Politikerzitate werden aufgefahren und bei "Bild" zu populistischen Überschriften: "Frau Käßmann sollte Gottes Wort verkünden" (01/15'10).
Käßmann:

"Diese heftige Resonanz einiger Medien, die ja durchaus dann auch meine persönliche – ja, ich sag mal – Grundbildung in Frage ziehen, die haben schon einen zum Teil merkwürdigen Zungenschlag."

Und es wird noch merkwürdiger, denn plötzlich werden auch ältere Aussagen Käßmanns aus dem Zusammenhang gerissen. So schreibt "Bild": "Käßmann zieht Krieg gegen Hitler in Zweifel!" (01/15'10). Tatsächlich aber hatte die Bischöfin drei Wochen zuvor in der Berliner Zeitung (12/24'09) gesagt: "Krieg setzt ein Gewaltpotential frei, für das ich keine Rechtfertigung sehe." Wieder wurden ihre Worte umgedeutet, bewusst falsch verstanden.
Käßmann:

"Am Anfang hat's mich verletzt, weil ich immer versucht habe, gerade zu stellen, was ich gesagt habe. Inzwischen merke ich, das hat überhaupt keinen Zweck.
Da muss ich in aller Freiheit sagen, ich stehe zu dem, was ich gesagt habe, und halte das für eine gutchristlich-biblisch fundierte Überzeugung."

Und ihre Überzeugung will sie auch verbreiten. Die Öffentlichkeit ist für Margot Käßmann Pflicht.
Sie ist ein willkommener Talkshow-Gast, wortgewandt, eine Frau mit Mut zur Meinung.
Käßmann:

"Nun ist ganz klar, schon Luther hat die Medien genutzt seinerzeit, den Buchdruck, um seine Meinung, das Evangelium, reformatorische Überzeugungen in die Welt zu bringen, und so müssen heute die Evangelischen im Land, die Kirchen überhaupt, die Medien auch nutzen. Aber natürlich ist es schwer, auch die Klarheit zu behalten, wenn deutlich wird, dass Personen und Inhalt vermischt werden. Also darum ringe ich doch sehr. Es geht mir um Inhalte."

Aber auch als Person und Privatmensch hat sie sich auf die Medien eingelassen, hat den Fernsehkameras ihr glückliches Familienleben mit den vier Töchtern vorgeführt: heile Welt. Und so haben die Medien auch ihre Schicksalsschläge wie den Krebs in Schlagzeilen und Fotos facettenreich ausgeleuchtet. "Ich habe mein fröhliches Herz nicht verloren." Die Zeitungen berichten auch über ihr "zerbrochenes Glück" (Hamburger Abendblatt 05/11'07), als sie sich scheiden lässt. Mehr denn je bekommt sie in diesen Tagen die andere Seite der Medien zu spüren: das Unberechenbare, die Halbwahrheiten, die Kampagnen. Immer geht es um ihren Namen und ihre Äußerungen, selten geht es um die Sache selbst.
Käßmann:

"Ich finde das sehr merkwürdig: Wenn den Menschen Afghanistan so sehr am Herzen liegt, muss es um Afghanistan gehen und nicht um mich als Person."

Ihre Neujahrspredigt zu Afghanistan würde Margot Käßmann wieder so halten.
Sie hat schon vieles ausgehalten und will sich auch künftig nicht beirren und unter Druck setzen lassen.

"Ich werde daran nichts ändern, weil, wenn ich anfange jetzt jeden Satz vorher abzuwägen, ganz genau zu überlegen‚ wie formulierst du so und dann kommt vielleicht das dabei raus, das würde mir meine Freiheit eines Christenmenschen nehmen – das werde und will ich nicht zulassen."


05/16'10 Himmlers Kräutergarten – biologisch-dynamische Versuche im KZ Dachau
08/30'09 "Capitulare de Villis" – Karlsgarten Aachen, Kräutergarten mit Heilpflanzen
11/08'09 Mein Name ist Kai Diekmann (Niggemeier)
04/08'09 Inka Schneider (Niggemeier, Schultheis – bildblog.de)

March 6, 2011

Transparenz zeigt Demokratie, dass sie keine ist



12/21'10 Barwassers Erwin in der Anstalt: "Transparenz entzaubert. Transparenz ist das Ende."

"Das mit den Wikileaks – ich weiß wirklich nicht, ob das so gut ist, dass wir das jetzt alles wissen.
Gut, das meiste hat man geahnt, oder? Dass im Vatikan alte, weltfremde Männer sitzen, die vom Tuten keine Ahnung haben ... ja, war klar. Dass Russland in der Hand der Mafia ist, dass Nigeria korrupt ist und Berlusconi ein notgeiler Dummdödel – ja, das haben wir geahnt. Aber wissen Sie, ich hatte immer noch so eine gewisse Resthoffnung. Verstehen Sie? Resthoffnung, dass vielleicht alles doch ganz anders ist. Resthoffnung.
Kennen Sie doch: diese Resthoffnung auch im Privatleben ... Ja, Sie nicken, wenn Sie Ihren Mann so anschauen und denken: Na, vielleicht ist er doch ganz intelligent, er kann's halt nicht so zeigen. Ja? Ja? Resthoffnung! Diese Resthoffnung: vielleicht ist es kein Mundgeruch, vielleicht ist es die Wetterlage.
Die Resthoffnung trägt uns, und diese Resthoffnung hat mir Wikileaks wirklich genommen. Und das halt ich für ein Drama, weil schaun Sie mal: Jedes Gemeinwesen funktioniert doch nur deshalb, weil man eben nicht genau weiß, wie der andere ist und was er denkt.
Auf der Basis und nur so funktionieren Staaten, Hausgemeinschaften, Partnerschaften, Ehen.
Ich möcht soweit gehen und sagen, eine Ehe speist sich irgendwann nur noch aus der Hoffnung, dass der andere nicht so ist, wie man schon immer befürchtet hat. Und deswegen weiß ich wirklich nicht mit den Wikileaks ... Viele sagen ja, das bedroht die Demokratie: Wenn alle alles wissen, ist es das Ende der Demokratie. Und andere sagen: Erst wenn alle alles wissen, dann ist es Demokratie. Totale Transparenz und nackte Wahrheit. Aber nackte Wahrheiten sind immer ungeschminkt und deshalb abstoßend – das wissen Sie auch von zuhause.

Ich weiß nicht, schaun Sie: Erotik ist, wenn man nicht alles sieht. Deswegen werden Schlafzimmer immer ein wenig schummrig beleuchtet – Raum für Illusionen ... Und Pornographie ist das, wenn man alles sieht – Flutlicht, kein Raum für Illusionen. Pornographie ist immer transparenter als Erotik, aber was heißt das jetzt für die Demokratie? Es heißt doch, die Erotik der Demokratie liegt darin, dass die Wahrheit immer ein wenig im Dunkeln liegt. Wenn die Wahrheit im Dunkeln liegt, dann entsteht Raum für Illusionen. Dann entsteht der Raum für den rührenden Glauben an Gerechtigkeit, an die Selbstheilungskräfte der Märkte. Dann entsteht Raum für die Illusion, dass die Banken Strapse tragen, weil sie das Gute wollen. Dann entsteht Raum für die Illusion, dass die FIFA unbestechlich ist, der Papst progressiv, Berlusconi impotent und Putin ein durch und durch guter Mensch. Transparenz entzaubert. Transparenz zeigt der Demokratie, dass sie keine ist.
Transparenz ist das Ende von allem. Das kennen Sie doch auch von zuhause, oder? Wenn Sie Ihrem Partner zuschauen, nackt vorm Badezimmerspiegel, wie er sich die Zahnzwischenräume reinigt und dabei noch einen fahren lässt – das ist transparent, aber Scheiße: Es ist das Ende!"

01/06'11 "You know what: Transparency is not the best thing."


11/25'08 Gleichzeitig Gläubiger des Staates und Bürge meines Schuldners

Pelzig: "Was ist denn überhaupt die Lösung? Ja, eins ist klar: Die Staatsverschuldung nimmt wieder zu.
Nächstes Jahr kann sich der Steinbrück wieder ... 20 Milliarden muss er sich leihen, 20 Milliarden Euro neu leihen, weil niemand weiß, was die Opel-Rettung im Wahljahr vielleicht doch noch kosten wird. Die Opel-Rettung – da haben wir ja auch noch die Banken-Rettung. Allein für die Banken-Rettung muss der dt. Staat 20 Milliarden Euro denen richtig rüberschieben, den Banken auf den Tisch legen. 20 Milliarden, wenn nicht vielleicht 50 Milliarden.
Ist auch der Wahnsinn, wie schnell wir uns an diese unglaublichen Summen gewöhnt haben, oder? 20 Milliarden, 50 Milliarden, 700 Milliarden ... vor ein paar Wochen haben wir uns noch aufgeregt, als diese Flaschen bei der KfW versehentlich 300 Millionen an Lehman überwiesen haben ... 300 Millionen – heute würden wir sagen: Glückwunsch! Schnäppchen gemacht. Also muss sich der Steinbrück wieder Geld leihen – und wo leiht er sich's? Wo hat der Staat eigentlich die Schulden? Ich kann's Ihnen sagen: bei der Bank.
Der Staat macht's wie wir, er geht zur Bank.
Zwei Drittel der Staatsschulden sind bei Kreditinstituten, also wird der Steinbrück auch jetzt wieder zu den Banken hinrennen. Ist auch komisch, gell? Erst schenkt der Staat den Banken ein Geld, um sich's danach wieder teuer auszuleihen ... Ich hab keine Ahnung, ich weiß, aber in meinen Ohren klingt das nach einem möglicherweise ungünstigen Geschäft.

Aber der Staat leiht sich ja das Geld jetzt durchaus nicht nur bei den Banken, sondern auch bei uns, bei seinen Bürgern. Bundesanleihen – kennen Sie das? Bundesanleihen: Leiht man dem Staat ein Geld, dann ist der Staat mein Schuldner. Bundesanleihen sind ja der totale Renner, gerade weil Bundesanleihen ja so sicher sind. Und warum sind sie so sicher? Weil der Staat ein guter Schuldner ist. Und warum ist er das? Weil der Staat sehr gute Bürgen hat. Und wer sind die Bürgen? Wir wieder, die Steuerzahler. Also auch wieder komisch, ist auch ziemlich deppert. Wenn ich Bundesanleihen jetzt kauf, bin ich Gläubiger des Staates und gleichzeitig der Bürge meines Schuldners. Klingt auch wieder ein bisschen nach Hütchenspiel ... Obwohl, ich geb zu, ich habe mir selber schon überlegt in diesen unsicheren Zeiten, kauf ich mir jetzt kein neues Auto, sondern Bundesanleihen. Kauf ich Bundesanleihen – entweder, oder. Und jetzt sagen sowohl mein Bankberater als auch mein Opelhändler ... sagen beide: 'Pelzig, kauf deine Bundesanleihen und finanzier den Opel über die Bank!' Ja, ich spinn zwar, aber ich bin doch nicht blöd! Weil im Grunde genommen heißt das doch: Erst schenkt der Staat mein Steuergeld der Bank. Dann leiht er sich's zurück, muss an die Bank Zinsen zahlen. Die Zinsen zahlt er wahrscheinlich von meinen Bundesanleihen. Dann nimmt er das geliehene Geld und rettet damit auf Kredit die Firma Opel, wo ich auf Kredit zum zweiten Mal ein Auto bezahlen soll, das dann in den nächsten fünf Jahren der Bank gehört. Und wenn die Dreckskarre dann nichts mehr wert ist, dann ist sie mein Eigenes. Also das ist doch sowas!"


Christian Rätsch: Pilz als Entheogen pt 1)
Hab ich also sehr viele Erfahrungen mit Pilzen gehabt, Menschen in der ganzen Welt kennen gelernt, die ebenso angetan und begeistert und fasziniert von den Pilzen sind, hab hier und da an deren Träumen teilnehmen können und glaube, inzwischen hab ich eine Ahnung davon bekommen, wie man die Pilze nehmen kann, damit sie am allerbesten wirken. D.h. dass die Wirkung, die sie entfalten können, für uns persönlich entweder aus persönlicher oder aus spiritueller Sicht eine Bedeutung haben. D.h. wir müssen v.a. auch eine Frage stellen: Was bedeutet die Welt, die uns die Pilze vermitteln? Was kriegen wir für Einblicke? In welche Wirklichkeiten? Und was ist überhaupt Wirklichkeit? Weiß das jemand, was Wirklichkeit ist? Jedenfalls ... Wirklichkeit ist z.B. die Finanzkrise, über die wir in Dtl. eigentlich ziemlich viel lachen, weil plötzlich ist das Geld weg, was niemals da war. D.h. also, die Finanzkrise beruht auf einer kollektiven Halluzinose, und die wurde ausgelöst von den falschen Drogen. Denn es sind dieselben Leute, die das Geld, was nicht da ist, verpulvern, die uns sagen wollen, wir dürfen keine Pilze essen. Etwas absurderes kann man als Kulturanthropologe in der heutigen Welt kaum noch beobachten.

March 3, 2011

Jon Boy gibt auf


lopo)
09/08'10 Daily Stewart 2008
09/08'10 Daily Stewart 2009
09/09'10 Daily Stewart 2010
11/30'10 How does this not drive you insane?
04/30'11 Daily Stewart 2011


08/04'10 "I give up." 12/16'10 "This is insane!"


12/13'10 Lame-as-Fuck Congress & Gordon Brown "Who do you yell at first?"
"You know, they say about finance ministers: There are those who fail and those who get out in time," Brown said.


01/24'11 Anand Giridharadas on the profound revolution that's going on in India
"I had different answers for Colbert but for you I'm gonna tell you the truth. You get the real deal."

01/24'11 "Wow! Wow! If that guy (Karl Rove) is telling you that you should feel shame, it's like Charlie Sheen showing up at your intervention to tell you to take it down a notch."

01/27'11 "And the symbiotic cycle of cable life continues."
So I was supposed to let that go? I mean, I watch Fox all the time, they use 'Nazi' like 16-year-olds use 'like'!
I mean, it's like, it's a stutter. 'Dad, there's nothing on TV, Nazi!' [...] Although, since you seem interested in getting into it ... the court will allow your witness! [...] '23 people liked this!' [...] Bill, I actually [...] like you. And I like the fact that you will come on other shows to be challenged, and have others on your show to challenge you. Unlike some of your colleagues. [...] Truth is, all I wanted was for Megyn Kelly to notice me.
Fuck! That's what happens when you try to get a pretty girl to call!"


02/03'11 Olbertunity knocks
comments ...

Anthony) Been a fan of the show since its inception (Kilborn), and I just have to say I find TDS hit pieces on Olbermann more than a little disturbing. Was he often over-the-top in venting the justifiable frustration shared by many decent, hard-working, voiceless folks? Sure. KO may've taken himself and his perceived role in our media culture too seriously for some. But I thought this sent the wrong message to journalists/pundits who do manage to get through this very-flawed model of corporate-controlled "journalism" (newstainment), credibility somewhat intact, that's been foisted upon an increasingly-detached, under-represented public and put their careers on the line to rail publicly against hypocritical or criminal behavior ... or worse. Not only was it distasteful, I thought it sucked. In an increasingly controlled, censored, borderline-fascistic corporate media culture, why go after corporate truth-tellers when they're so rare? Continue to shine a rare public spotlight on the soulless thieves and shills so prevalent in what passes for "news" media these days.

cshearer19) Agreed.
Not to mention TDS rarely takes a firm stand on the US's illegal and immoral wars, the way Keith did.

Anthony) Guess my response is who's demonstrated a comparable penchant to speak truth to state/corporate power and do it with well-cited information? Who's "any good" among our "corporate fascistic overlords"?
Not sure Olbermann pretended to be anything other than "newstainment." Perhaps, channeling Murrow, he brought back well-articulated opinion into journalism. Journalism should be more than talking heads, newsmodels, regurgitating the corporate line, no?
Point being, KO stuck his neck out and knew the consequences.
What have you done lately?

RustyBucket) And how is making stupid insults about Malkin being a sack of meat (who is a nasty person, don't get me wrong) coming close to being journalism? Seriously what Olbermann did was newstainment. Olbermann stayed as long as he did because he brought in revenue for his corporate fascistic overlords, not because he was any good.

Anthony) You're obviously ignorant of the show itself and his contributions off the set as well, but that's understandable. Not that it would matter to someone with your intellect, but I've been a State Death Penalty Abolition Coordinator for Amnesty International for 15 years, a civil servant and an active community member advocating for the mentally challenged and the abolition of the death penalty. And you've never publicly called another person a name before? Well, congratulations! You'd be the first I've ever met.

RustyBucket) Well, same goes to you: What have you outside of trying to change the definition of what journalism is, to justify your particular binky's method?
What's "sticking your neck out", when all he was doing was calling people names.

billcarr) I really liked the kids at the end, a perfect microcosm of America today!
As they say out of the mouths of babes and sucklings. That is babes meaning children not babes as in hot babes!

Susan) Jon needs to go back to satire but he desperately wants to be taken seriously as an observer of our times – I was crammed out of the Sanity gig – and missed Jon's self-aggrandizing 'healing' Jersey Turnpike drone until I saw it on TV (ironic) – turns out missing which was a high point to an otherwise childish waste of time ...
Jon has size envy clearly. MSNBC is taken seriously by millions – Stewart can't handle that and each nasty carp drips with insecurity. Mocking Olberman is the final turn-off. Keith did his homework, he truly informed us – and when clever, entertained. Keith was a spokesman for the intelligent, passionate viewer and Jon's degrading his legacy is sickening. Bitchy remarks about the 'cleverly named Ed Show' ... are so petty and insulting – back to junior high – whatever your real name is! Jon, since you can't be taken seriously (you are not in the same league as KO), go back to aping Glenn Beck – you do that level of entertainment better than some. (though not SNL)

Brian) Olbermann, Maddow, and Schultz should be piled into a space ship with Beck, O'Reilly, and Hannity and shot into space. They're all the same, they just support opposite ends of the polarized spectrum of American Politics. Their polarization (on both sides) is what kills discourse in our country. Argue against it all you want, but just because you like one side more than the other doesn't make what they do right.

Sandy972) Jon, I think all of us agree that you are great, but stop bashing MSNBC, especially Matthews, Olbermann and Schultz ... and now they have Cenk Ugyur who is suberb!
The people who watch your show, Jon, are most likely the same people who watch Keith, and the rest of them, and unlike Bill Maher who is both funny and very astute about politics, your shtick is getting old. I am like the other guys who have commented ... quit biting the hand that feeds you: the crappola about KO, Ed, and Chris are not funny nor even appreciated as satire, because they are the good guys, just like you. So give it up!

Emil) Yea yea, Olbermann is forceful. We get it. Trouble is, he's nearly the only person in the American political media who represents progressives' distaste of liars and corrupt politicians. Without him, or someone like him, Fox and the right-wing radio hosts have nearly no one to criticize them. And criticism is important. The powers that be don't read watchdog group blogs but they do listen to what happens in television, and if no one who's taken more seriously than, say, Jon, criticizes Fox, then the powers that be will think there's only Fox' opinion and the opinions Fox attribute to the left wing, which is why the political spectrum has shifted so dramatically.
It's just starting to inch its way back now because of Olbermann and his proving that left-wing media can work.

MAnnaJ) ... And just because Jon mocks Ed and Keith does not mean he believes in the "false equivalence" meme. Remember the "Go Fuck Yourself" song to Fox? He stated very clearly that Fox is not the equivalent of MSNBC and others. 04/20'10 Bernie Goldberg Fires Back (watch from around the 10:30 mark)

Emil) And by the way, if you think Chris Matthews is left-wing, keep in mind that half his show is dedicated to him giggling alongside his good friend, Pat Buchanan, who's literally argued that the British were to blame for the Second World War and the Holocaust.

RustyBucket) And Stewart was mocking Shultz just like he's mocked Olbermann – both of them have gone over the line repeatedly. Just like Glenn Beck has. Stewart was pointing out that Maddow would never get that prime time slot because she had rational arguments with people – that's what he was criticizing. But hey, if you want to keep defending Olbermann as the only beacon of truth and justice, even when he was just as trollish as a poster on a political forum. Go 'head. People shouldn't be watching Jon Stewart if they can't take satire – stick to MSNBC if you want Ideology.

Beepath) What I enjoy about being a progressive liberal is that we can poke fun at each other.
The Faux folks won't be seen with that kind of sense of humor, but at least Jon has one. Love the Ed rants, he speaks for me and a lot of people. The louder he shouts, the less we have to. Same with Jon and Stephen.
Jon reminds us that life is too important to take seriously. Mwah!


01/03'11 "The media is like the world's worst paramedics. They declare people dead when they're napping.
So, of course, waking up must be a miracle."

01/05'11 Jimmy Wales, founder of Wikipedia

01/06'11 "You know what: transparency is not the best thing."

01/12'11 Tim Pawlenty discusses the tension between liberty, equality and efficiency

01/18'11 George Soros (Rupert Murdoch) plans to overthrow America & the Manchurian lunatic

01/19'11 "Drop a load" – two established TV personalities penetrate each other while people watch

01/20'11 The Socialist Network & Kambiz Hosseini, Saman Arbabi: "You're the prophet!"


02/02'11 Matthew Perry & Glenn Beck:

"When you take the Marxists and you combine them with the radical from Islam, the whole world starts to implode."


02/14'11 Moment of Zen – Glenn Beck:

"Your are watching the beginning and the birth of the New World Order.
And you wanna call me crazy? Go to hell!"

And: "Total Jedi"


02/23'11 "What you will see is the absence of certainty:" The Rumsfeld Papers


Jon on Oprah the "POp(e)rah" pt 2 & pt 3
09/29'10 Jon on Letterman's Late Show pt 1 & pt 2

Oprah Winfrey's 1998 acceptance speech: "Growing up in Mississippi, my prayer was – for as long as I can remember – God use me, use me, use this life. I don't know what future holds for me but I know that there is a vision for my life that is greater than my imagination can hold. Use me, use me, what would you have me to do? And that dream, that desire, that prayer, brought me somehow to television."


11/09'10 Jon Stewart reacts to rally criticisms
11/12'10 Jon Stewart on the Rachel Maddow Show

How does this not drive you insane?


Daily Stewart lopo

11/16'10 "How does this not drive you insane?"
"You have to get this": "All The Devils Are Here – The Hidden History of the Financial Crisis"
by Bethany McLean and Joe Nocera


"We're living in insanity!" – The C-Span interview


Wikiquote: "How did Memogate get a 'gate'? How did Nipplegate get a 'gate'? We invaded a country with the wrong information, and Janet Jackson's tit got a 'gate'. Who gives out the 'gates'? Is there a 'Gate'-gate?
[...] We're living in insanity!"

"The gist, the essence, to distill that ... What I'm advocating is that the media come work for us again, that they remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structures of corporations and of the politic. [...]
The corporate mentality and the political mentality is to create layers of obfuscation that make it difficult to penetrate what's going on. The print media, by the way, is very different – most of what I'm talking about is television.
The print media is much better at providing context, but you're providing it a week later and by then, everybody's moved on. That's the sad truth of it – the world moves much more quickly now.
The real responsibility now lies where the people set the agenda, and the agenda is set on the 24-hour networks. And unless you're keeping up with them, and unless they are held to a certain level of accountability, that's where the deficit lies. [...]
It's about holding to account. This idea that debate is two advocates for two corrupt organizations, to have a Democratic strategist and a Republican strategist is not a debate.
That's Coke and Pepsi discussing beverage supremacy. And it's not real!
What I'm suggesting is, that the person mediating that has to have some expertise and has to have a job, and their job can't be 'What do you think, Donna Brazile? Okay, what do you think, Bay Buchanan? We'll be right back.'
That's not a job, that's doing nothing. And it's allowing two people to dominate a debate that are strategists.
And understand that the television press is getting their asses kicked, and they're doing it willingly. And that's the thing that I think is so frustrating to watch at home, because they have a roll, and they have a job, and they're not doing it. And that drives you insane when you watch."


Stop pretending that we don't know what's going on


"You know, everybody wrings their hands about Fox News [...]
Okay, maybe they are not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan 'You can depend on CNN.'
Guess what? I watch it: no, you can't. So, what's the difference? [...]
This idea of liberal bias ... by the way, that's a strategy: There's a difference between what Fox does, which is activism, and a so-called liberal bias, which is a bunch of people. If you watch the news networks – and this is really the judge, I think, in my mind – who would have covered the war differently, as a network, if a Democratic president was in office? I think, there's only one network that would have, and that's Fox. So that's an activist stance. The others ... the bias of the media is not liberal, it's lazy. And it's sensationalist. But it's not liberal.
There is no active strategy which is employed on Fox, an active strategy of advocating for conservative or right causes. [...] But they are part of an overall 30-year strategy of putting together a way to reconsolidate power – by the way: well within their rights. I don't have a problem with that, absolutely not. Because I don't consider them news. I consider them an active political arm. [...]

I mean, if the presidential election commercials are not held to that standard, why should news organizations? That's what I'm saying: We've lost accountability. And just because they are, why whine about it?
Why not create a television organization that's not liberal but credible?
Why not create ... that has same passion that Roger Ailes brings to his cause, and I admire what they have done.
Because what they have done they've shown the way to a new paradigm, a new media paradigm: that this type of programming can be successful and profitable.

But I don't think the answer to it is to set up 'Al Gore's television network' and fight it with liberal strategy.
Because a) Liberals are shitty at it and won't be able to accomplish it. I mean, if you watch "Crossfire", watch Paul Begala's eyes whenever he has to do the partisan thing, he keeps them down. He feels shame. Liberals feel shame.
Shame doesn't work when you are on a cover set, but imaging bringing to a 24-hour network – and that goes back to our point about what should have been done differently in the debate – it's not about what should have been done differently in the debate, it's about what should have been done differently on a 24 hour basis. Fox didn't come out of the gate and earn its conservative street cred – you know, Roger Ailes obviously being the head of it helps, because he has a reputation and he has a certain knowledge within that – but they earned it over time by presenting a narrative. I don't think that narrative is helping, just like I don't think Al Jazeera's narrative is helping. I think it helps make them popular, but I don't think it helps the country.
I think there's a responsibility within the media to help.
But you could create a paradigm of a media organization that is geared towards 'No Bullshit'.
And do it actively. And stop pretending that we don't know what's going on. And stop pretending that it's a right-left question. I don't buy that the world is divided into bi-chromatic thought like that."

"Why can't you hire people that care about the truth? You know them, I know them, they're good. You got people on blogs that are fact-checking as things happen.
Now, some of those people are conspiracy theorists, some of them are really smart.
Have somebody at the center of it who can be an arbiter of what's real and what's not. And make that reactive to the devastating game of strategy that's being played in Washington.
I think it would make a shit-load of money, and not only that, you'd be able to sleep at night."


06/17'08 Lara Logan (Chief Foreign Correspondent of CBS News): "If I would have watched the news that you hear here in the U.S. I'd just blow my brains out, because this would drive me nuts."
Stewart: "Really?"


03/15'10 "The whole fucking thing [American Politics] is fake like professional wrestling.
The news guys they're more like the managers: they got their own take on the filibuster, too!"
Michael Lewis: The Big ShortInside The Doomsday Machine

"When this thing goes bad, when the bombs go off in 2008, most of the Wall Street firms are on the other side of those bets. AIG is on the other side of those bets. So very few of the firms actually figured it out. I mean the problem with these big Wall Street firms generally is that they became the dumb money at the poker table, and how that happened is an incredible story."

03/16'10 In Dodd we trust: JonCo can't fail with Jon Bucks

03/22'10 "You need to distance yourself from the extremists that were running this thing."


04/06'10 – john mccain is too big to fail

"McCain is shorting his own soul ... He's driving down the price of his own soul by completely stripping it of its pride, its backbone, its integrity – all of its tangible assets – all the while knowing the value of his soul will soon plummet. Then, in a backdoor move, buys soul default swaps on the back end, makes a fortune and then picks his soul back up for a song when it hits bottom.
And you know the worst part? Come election time, he's still get his tax-payer bailout and get re-elected. You know why? Because John McCain is too big to fail."

04/07'10 Pope Opera – Sam Bee:

"They just can't believe this witch-hunt! [...] You know, the liberal media is really torturing the church. Putting them on a rack and literally pulling them apart hoping they'll confess.
Searing their flesh with red hot pokers unless they renounce the so-called crimes of their faith. [...]
It's like you're all on some kind of crusade! Are you trying to censor me, John?
Are my ideas too out there for you? You know, just because you've suddenly found out the world doesn't revolve around you doesn't mean you can shut me up and put me away. [...]
What are they, the Cathars? The Cathars, the Gnostic sect in 13th century france ...
Tens of thousands of them were massacred under the direct authority of Pope Innocent III, persecuted out of existence by the Catholic Church. Well, that's what you're doing now."

04/20'10 – fox news you are the lupus of news

04/21'10 You blew it, my friend. You boys flew to close to the sun and you got burned.
You're just not ready: you can't handle this stuff, sorry.

04/29'10 – they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom –


08/03'10 Born in the USA: "Anchor Babies"
"Oh my goodness – I was so impressed by how you showed what a crazy lunatic Louie Gohmert is.
That was fantastic, Jon! I think that you summed that up sooo well. I can't understand why so many of these uber-conservatives are so freaking angry at all liberals. This fear-mongering and paranoia is ridiculous, and I for one, am tired of this anger. Please, have a glass of wine, chill out and stop yelling at everyone."


08/12'10 "James Madison said the separation of church and state was just their little joke."

08/17'10 "We are completely fucked."

08/18'10 News Corp. gives money to Republicans: "The cleansing sunlight of truth: their name is 'Fox News' and they will not stop till they have identified corruption patient zero."
comments)
"I haven't seen objective news reporting anywhere and I do watch network as well as CNN and the others. My point is that 'secretive' is the key word. They were obviously open with their contribution. Also they (Fox parent company) have in the past given to both parties. He was taking an unfair 'whack' at Fox News as they like to do because Fox outrates all of them in popularity – watch Oberman and his rants without substance."
"Fair and balanced? Right, and McDonalds is a healthy restaurant cause they serve salads."
"It's not just that Fox is being hypocritical in pointing out that some money from liberal blogs, organizations, George Soros, whatever ends up in the hands of Democrats – it's that in order for Fox to show this, they have to rely on such convoluted logic and elaborate conspiracy-theory style flow charts to try and make their point. On the other hand, News Corp. gives money directly to Republicans.
It's a straight line with no intermediaries and no conspiracy nonsense necessary.
So not only are Fox hypocrites, they're also completely absurd in their hypocrisy."
"'If you can get them to believe that representative government is a democracy, I'll give you a dollar!'"
"Cable news is a pathetic excuse for journalism. 'They have contributors and guests on from both parties.' That isn't what fair and balanced means. MSNBC and CNN have contributors and guests on from both parties. Are they fair and balanced? It is all about the narrative of the network. One of these days, watch how differently liberal causes and guests are treated by Fox News. Watch how the contributors will sling leading questions that require no thought and give a simple answer to conservatives while throwing loaded questions as liberals (you can reverse this for MSNBC). Also, having a Democratic strategist on to debate a Republican strategist is not 'fair and balanced'. Watch the interviews. It is Pizza Hut and Papa Johns trying to convince you that the other's pizza sucks and the talking head merely encouraging the fight without asking hard-hitting questions. It is theatrics and a joke to traditional investigative journalism."

08/26'10 I have a scheme (Glenn Beck)


09/22'10 Jon Stewart in the No Spin Zone of the O'Reilly Factor
09/27'10 Truthiness to Power and Bill O'Reilly with post-interview analysis


10/26'10 "The system is broken." John McCain claimed it for years ...
A comment:
"I was so excited all day as I prepared to go to the rally and looked forward to the show tonight. Disappointment is not a big enough word for what I am feeling after watching Jon's interview with the President. I am 61-year-old white woman living in South Carolina surrounded by right-wing crazies. The only person I can relate to is my 35-year-old son. I cannot even enjoy a meal in a restaurant without hearing offensive comments coming from all sides. The Daily Show has helped me deal with the stress of the past 10 years. I have so much appreciated all that Jon has done to bring the truth to the people as well as comic relief during frustrating times. I have watched his show night after night often thinking how proud of him I am for being so smart that no one can get the best of him in an interview. Knowing how much I admire Jon, my son surprised me with the news that he had made arrangements to take me to the rally. Now I am wondering how I will tell him tomorrow that I don't want to go.
I don't know what to expect from the rally at this point. Does Jon really think that President Obama's campaign theme of hope and change would have been exactly the same had he been able to see into the future and predict the economic abyss that was ahead? Now it is a matter of survival. We have a president who has worked tirelessly to solve the country's problems while constantly battling oppositional right-wingers who simply cannot stomach the idea of having a black president. He has had to look at signs bearing altered images of himself to look like a demon or Hitler and people carrying guns to his public appearances. Through it all the President has courageously maintained a posture of dignity and civility. Beginning tomorrow morning and echoing through Election Day, the obnoxious right-wing pundits will be announcing, 'Jon Stewart accuses President Obama of being timid!'"


11/03'10 Chris Wallace (Fox News) extended interview

11/11'10 The Decider ("I'm not a hater.") returns & Rosaria Dawson

11/17'10 Jon: "This is where the rubber meets the road – we have arrived at the Rubicon":
Either we'll continue with an adult conversation about our nation's budget or ...
"If you want to make this about me personally you are not going to have an intelligent discussion.
If you want to make this about ... I mean, do I want to go into your personal past and talk about your past on this program? I don't think so."
Jon: "So we can talk about this in an adult way, the way I want to talk about it, my ground rules, or I can remind everyone you used to fuck hookers. It's up to you. It's your choice."


12/14'10 Bill back in the Briefing Room, Forward! & Ricky Gervais

Daily Stewart 2010


Daily Stewart lopo

01/12'10 Intro: Instead of a little fight, interviewing John Yoo was like interviewing sand.
01/12'10 "Let me get this straight: The only people that have fully recovered from the financial meltdown, are the ones that caused the financial meltdown.
And by recovered, I mean, apparently, redipping their balls in gold." [...]
Spitzer) "Goldman Sachs will have a profit that we'd estimated about 12 a billion dollars last year. That is precisely what tax payers gave them to help them get bailed out from their AIG exposure. It is all tax dollars."
Stewart) "That's Eliot Spitzer saying we just paid a lot of money for someone to fuck us. How did we get here?! How?! Why?! How did we get to the point where companies that we had to bail out with billions of dollars get to use that money to reward their employees with billions of dollars?
Well, that journey is documented in our new segment 'We Had To!'" [...]
Henry Paulson) "The markets are fragile – we have a serious situation: We're not doing this to protect our financial institutions in and of themselves, we are doing it to protect the financial institutions because that's what is needed to protect the American taxpayer."
Stewart) "Oh right, we had to: We had to give them billions of dollars to save ourselves ... we're so selfish."
01/12'10 "Sodomy promotion is from Satan's Jews."
01/12'10 "I'm getting a crimp. I'm so not understanding this."

01/13'10 The year in preview, Ann Mack's false smile and trends in trendwatching
"Luckily, television news programs have access to experts who can remove the uncertainty for an anxious world."
Brit Hume) "Well, I think terrorism returns as a major political issue this political season."
01/14'10 The Man of God: It's a true story.
Pat Robertson) "And, you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. And so, the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other."
01/18'10 "If this lady loses, the health-care reform bill that the beloved late senator considered his legacy will die. And the reason it will die ... Let's get deep ... the reason it will die is because if Coakley loses, Democrats will only then have an 18-vote majority in the Senate, which is more than George W. Bush ever had in the Senate when he did whatever the fuck he wanted to do. In fact, the Democrats have a greater majority than the Republicans have had since 1923. But for Democrats apparently a majority of 100 ... is 60. I need my inhaler."

01/25'10 Supreme Corp. "That means our future looks bright."
01/26'10 Michael Scheuer (SJ) & Elizabeth Warren
01/27'10 Ethan Watters – Crazy like us. The Globalization of the American Psyche
"Japan is actually a very sad culture. It embraces sadness [...] almost like a religious state. [...] But when it comes to science behind anti-depressants, it's really quite problematic: Drug companies are creating this science to a huge degree. They are not valuing these drugs but they're creating and marketing the science. Then we get it over to another country, it looks like science, but the truth is that it's much more problematic than that."
01/28'10 "What about the people who watched the speech but found it too straight forward and understandable? Well, there's always CNN. [...]
I've never seen a Situation Room where more information helped me understand less. I'm sorry, you were saying Twitter was fascinating. I've been on Twitter: it's not. But you know what, I'll let you prove it's not ..."

02/01'10 Q & O) Last night, Jon Stewart sat in awe of President Obama's smack down of the GOP during a Q&A session, saying "it's like he's seeing their talking points in bullet time."
Stewart also slammed Fox News for cutting off coverage of the event early: "We're gonna cut away because this is against the narrative that we present."
Faulty Powers – Neo-Catholic Bliar and Goolsbee again – typical Bonesman like the Bushs

02/03'10 Sam Bee) Something puss-related

03/04'10 "OK, I can't wait to hear what that was." "It was a cock." ("five cock-filled chambers")
Olberman) "Bearing witness to the new era of communication, Jon. It is Orwellian, sir. It is Big Brother and Big Brother is none other than each of us. The Bush Administration Warrant-less Wire-tap Search Society at T1 speeds. The Surveillance State, gone viral. At long last, sir, have we no shame?
I think one of us is supposed to take our pants off, now." [...] "I hate Chat Roulette!"
03/04'10 Scott Patterson – The Quants: "Who are 'the quants'? Who are these cats?
Patterson) These are mathematicians, physicists, super geniuses who have figured out, using their math skills and computer skills, ways to price securities in the stock market, make big bets, and unfortunatley frequently cause big blow-ups.
Stewart) So the idea that generally a stock's price would be reflective of a value created by what the company makes, they look at that and thought, 'that's a sucker bet.'
Patterson) Right.
Stewart) Let me create an equation that has no real bearing in that [...]
They're making products out of stocks. Like for instance, if there's a stock from a company, they would take that stock and say, 'let me make that a stock daiquiri of some sort. Just blend it together with other ingredients and then make people drink it.' Do they share these profits with regular people or is it only amongst quants?
Patterson) Well, all of Wall Street is controlled by quants, in my opinion. So everything that people are investing, hedge funds ... hedge funds have pension funds money in them, so the money is being spread around. But I think what people don't understand is that this started decades ago and all these guys, they completely revolutionize the way Wall Street works, using their skills. You would not believe how many physicists are at these banks in hedge funds.
Stewart) Now, doesn't it seem like they are running an express lane?
That there's a Wall Street that is for general traffic, and then there is this express lane where these guys are making billions and billions and billions of dollars and kind of capitalizing gains and then when shit hits the fans, for lack of a better word, socializing their losses amongst the slower lanes.

Patterson) That's what happened on Wall Street, yeah.
Stewart) That doesn't seem fair.
Patterson) The banks, they're run by these guys and they realized that, because Wall Street was implicitly supported by Washington D.C., they could make bigger bets in using this quantitative strategies [...]
They thought they could make bigger bets and they proved to be wrong.
Stewart) Right. True. Here is my favorite thing that they did is, the quants came up with a Hippocratic oath after they started losing a lot of money in 2007 and in 2008 when apparently the stock market began not to defy the laws of gravity. So here's the Hippocratic oath of the quants: 'I will remember that I didn't make the world and it doesn't satisfy my equations.' [...]
Patterson) That goes to the hybris of these guys. They are running so much money when you think about it. You're controlling billions of dollars, you're becoming extremely rich.
These guys are very arrogant because of their intelligence and their wealth.


Stewart) Have they been humbled in any way by what appears to be a world-wide collapse of their strategy?
Patterson) I thought they would be, to be honest, after this happened and I was writing this book but ...
Stewart) They spoke with you for the book while they were winning.
Patterson) Right.
Stewart) And then when it went bad ...
Patterson) They suddenly didn't want to talk much anymore. From what I hear, 'cause these guys don't really talk to me very much anymore, they blame other people and this is endemic in all of Wall Street. Nobody really wants to takes the blame because this thing was so vast and global, really, that everybody can point the finger on somebody else and nobody wants to take responsibility.
Stewart) It seems like a lot of what these guys did was use these mathematical analyses and equations to circumvent the intent of securities law while still obeying the letter of those laws or acting in areas that were unregulated completely.
Patterson) Right. That is definitely one component of what they do in the derivatives world. These swaps, they're basically designed to get around regulations and save the company money and move it over to Greece ...
Stewart) And collapse their economy.
Patterson) Right.
Stewart) They have not been purged. They are back running Wall Street and they now do business in what they themselves call ...
Patterson) High-frequency trading in dark pools – the combination is kind of scary.
Stewart) What's a 'dark pool'?
Patterson) A dark pool is this off-exchange market where stocks trade in the dark. Regulators don't really know what's going on in these dark pools [...]
Stewart) The book is unbelievable and it talks about the real personalities.
And it shows that our money and pension funds is literally being handled be the same people who are like trafficking in stolen amputated gorilla paws like ... It's insanity! And I really hope that the book exposes a great deal of it and that they, I'm sure, figure out an equation to make you disappear, somehow.
Patterson) I think, they're working on that.
Stewart) It's phenomenal and I look forward to see the movie out of it."

03/08'10 Harry Markopolos – No one would listen, A true financial thriller.
Headline 2000: "The world's largest hedge fund is a fraud." ("He received an undergraduate degree in Business Administration from Loyola College in Maryland in 1981 and an M.S. in finance from Boston College in 1997.")
Stewart) "Are you like the MacGuyver of finance? [...]
What now, if the SEC is in bed with Wall Street and no one has been fired, although clearly this was an enormous mistake, who can effect change? What would be the organization? Would it have to be Congress?"
Markopolos) "No, I think it's got to be the American people. You can't trust either party. I think we have to vote them both out of office somehow. [...] Yes, Madoff would have had me killed if he would have figured out that I had a team tracking him across two continents – that was clear. He destroyed thousands of families already. One more wouldn't have made a difference to that man. He's a sociopath."
Mail Mary – "There was a darker side to Mother Teresa. (Beatrice: "I never expected to hear the phrase 'There was a darker side to Mother Teresa' in a non-comedic context.") She didn't really care about peace and she didn't even care about true human suffering. [...] What she primarily was – and she was good at this, with a lot of help – was a PR machine for the Catholic Church. She does not deserve the U.S. post office honoring her on a stamp."

03/09'10 Agent (intelligence officer) Marc Thiessen (journalist, torturer, blatant liar)

05/03'10 Beyond awful – Mary Landrieu) No one has ever claimed, including myself as an unabashed proponent of the industry, that drilling is risk-free. Stewart) No, you never claimed it, you emphatically stated it.
05/06'10 Jason Jones tries to spot illegal immigrants by looking for suspicious behavior on Cinco de Mayo.
05/11'10 God smacked – Christian warriors: "Jesus was the ultimate fighter. When you look at what he had to endure for our sake, he is the ultimate fighter. [...] There is no place for violence in christianity."

06/09'10 Sam Bee) "Men broke the country and now they need the ladies to come in and make it all better. Apparently, last night America, scared and with a poopy in its diaper, cried for its mommy."
06/09'10 Press you're stuck. Are you journalists or are you rushing a sorority?
06/09'10 out of the loop) What happened to Helen Thomas was disgraceful. Even more disgraceful is the current crop of 'journalists' who function as spokespersons for corporate interests.
America no longer is the land of the free and brave, but of the bought and cowed. Like lobbyists, journalists move back and forth between politics and journalism.


06/08'10 Christopher Hitchens – Hitch 22, A Memoir – "I tell you, to be honest, the most idealistic, and brave and committed and intelligent young people I know have joined the armed forces of America and then they're guarding us while we sleep in Iraq and Afghanistan and elsewhere."
Reaganomicon: "Actually, he had already found out he had cancer a few days before this interview, which makes the obituary comments that much more interesting/poignant."

06/16'10 "That's the push we needed." Eight presidents couldn't rid the U.S. of oil addiction

06/17'10 Dr. Peter Lutz on Day 59, Judgment Day – The Strife Aquatic
"So, the marine biologist, the doctor that they say to call in an emergency, is dead, and that's his phone number."
06/17'10 Sam Bee) Holier than Dow – Goldman Sachs, The Constantinian Church and transparency
Uri Man: "In limo on way to Fox studio I'll be on Fox and Friends at 7:45 this morning thanks for tuning in!"

06/22'10 Stanley A. McChrystal – The Runaway General, MMS changes its name – "Are we really that stupid?"
"Blame for the Gulf disaster has been spreading like ... I can't think of an appropriate metaphor right now how it is spreading but one group has inexplicably escaped its fair share of impotent rage."

07/05'10 Michael Steele, the puppet – I nailed it!
"That's the one thing you don't do is engage in a land war in Afghanistan.
This was a war of Obama's choosing.

This is not something that the Unites States had actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in."
Stewart) "Just focus on this: This is the head of the Republican Party going against one of his party's core principles: blowing shit up in other countries. It's like Jews for Jesus."

07/08'10 Marilynne Robinson – Absence of Mindbelieves the quality of science and religion determines the nature of the conversation.
Stewart) I've always been fascinated that the more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith. You know, when they start to speak about the universe as if ... Most of the universe is anti matter. Oh really, where's that? Well, you can't see it. Well, where is it? It's there. Can you measure it? We're working on it. It's a very similar argument to someone who would say God created everything. Well where is he? Well, he's there.
And I'm always struck by the similarity of the arguments at their core.
Robinson) I think you're absolutely right. [...]
Stewart) Is it that the human mind has created these two disciplines, each one sort of equally at the mercy of our limitations?
Robinson) I think that's true. I think it's also true that until quite recently many great scientists like Isaac Newton and so on were profoundly religious people.
The division is something that has come later and I don't think it was even necessary.
Stewart) Do you think it's a political division? One that's used mainly in political purposes?
Because it always feels like it has become now a very volatile conversation because it has political undertones.

Robinson) I think that's true. I think that there are political groups of attached themselves to these two poles.
But I think, it's also true that at this point in time we need the best insights from science and the best insights from religion and that, in fact, the gladiators from both sides are, I think, inferior representatives of both sides, and that's where a lot of the conflicts comes from.

07/20'10 Best leak ever
07/26'10 William Rosen – The Most Powerful Idea in the World

07/28'10 Robert O'Connell – The Ghosts of Cannae
"The one thing about Roman politics is, everybody was military."
07/28'10 Scott Lively – The Pink Swastika
Pastor Lively told Jason Jones, "open homosexuals are distinct from everybody else, men and women, in being exceptionally brutal and savage. [...] Adolf Hitler used homosexual soldiers because they were more savage than natural men. They didn't have the restraint a normal man has. It was easier for them to do some of the terrible things that the Nazis did."
Researching Pastor Lively, I discovered more interesting nuggets about Hitler and his cronies. The initial meeting of what would become the Nazi Party took place in a gay bar. Each young Brownshirt was matched up with a homosexual male adult to initiate him into the league of gay Aryan supermen. So how to explain the extermination of gays by the Third Reich? Pastor Lively has a simple answer. "The Nazis did persecute homosexuals to distract public attention away from their homosexuality."
To be honest, I was shocked at the number of sites recommending The Pink Swastika as well-supported historical fact being suppressed by gay activists and even by the National Holocaust Museum. The book is now in its fourth edition due to nice Christian groups all over the internet plugging it almost as hard as they peddle the Almighty.
Then it started to make me ill. WWJB, people? What would Jesus blog? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't take to the Web in support of a book that advocates murdering homosexuals. I'm not talking about the Nazis this time: I'm referring to Pastor Lively's book, sermons and life's work. So I'd like to let Jason Jones take over and make light of this bizarre yet influential man. [...]
Pastor, you seem to me every bit as brutal and savage as the fantasy you promote as truth. Far be it from me to suggest that you tell this story to the next guy you see with a swastika tattoo. I'm sure he'd enjoy acquainting you with your feminine side. But that wouldn't be very Christian of me, would it? Not that I'm Christian, I'm not. I just have a conscience. Since you most likely believe in an afterlife, though, allow me to paint you a picture. Fire. Brimstone. You, sucking Satan's balls for all eternity. Bon appetit!

09/13'10 Team Jesus, Team Mohammed
09/23'10 Postcards from the pledge, King Abdullah II of Jordan pt 1 and pt 2

Daily Stewart 2009


Daily Stewart lopo

And they watch it later and cry. Media is a biest. Doubt Break '09
If you can't give me any evidence, then at least do the honorable thing and confuse me!

12/10'09 Because you can't spell GOLD without GOD
12/10'09 Stephen prevaricated a mendacious falsehood

11/18'09 Winning a nation and 'Have we gotten this?'
11/16'09 Jake Adelstein's sense of scale maybe off (Boyscouts of the Yakuza, FBI delivers livers)
11/12'09 Hannity apologizes to the Daily Show
11/10'09 Papa Baer was there (for "Inside Edition")
11/05'09 But there's a larger, more serious point to be made here (Glenn Beck)

10/26'09 The theological free market in action: Anglicans switch spirituality providers
10/26'09 Stewart mocking about Net Neutrality – McCain, the "Internet Freedom Act" guy
10/26'09 Susie Essman summes up Jon's entire life
10/12'09 CNN leaves it there

09/24'09 Hassan Nemazee and Joe Biden

08/19'09 Fox News, the new liberals
08/18'09 Christopher McDougall – Born to run
08/11'09 Skull and Bones Austan Goolsbee

07/16'09 Pyramid Economy
07/14'09 "Sonia Sotomayor first graduated first in her highschool class from Cardinal Spellman Highschool.
Now, there are many more role models for a young Cardinal Spellman's student to choose from, with judge Sotomayor foremost among them."
07/13'09 Sam Bee) Half-Baked Alaska
07/01'09 Michael Scheuer (Jesuit Alumnus)

06/26'09 It really all depends on when Jesus comes back
06/09'09 Peter Schiff) He thinks he is in the House of Lords
06/02'09 GM, AIG and the people

05/21'09 Larry King on dangerours ground
05/21'09 Bush-Obama meme, no middle ground
05/18'09 Barack Obama is Cliff Huxtable
05/18'09 Barackhenaten at Notre Dame
05/14'09 In the midst of one of our own cities
05/14'09 Sam Bee) Where is my White House?
05/11'09 That was weird
05/11'09 Titanium balls

04/23'09 One-world currency government
04/22'09 Saint Dickolas
04/22'09 Statuesque pleasure creatures
04/22'09 Carl Rove, Dick Cheney now outspoken
04/20'09 We (don't) torture
04/19'09 The story that encapsulates Jon's whole life
04/15'09 Obama at Georgetown, the Goldman Sachs Connection
04/15'09 Consistent female anchor Tea Party gesture – copies of body language
04/08'09 Full metal budget
04/07'09 Original soundtrack of Skull and Bones Bush
04/02'09 Tom Zoellner: Uranium

03/16'09 General Richard Myers – Eyes on the Horizon

03/16'09 Sam Bee) Just because you robbed the grave ... "It is un-American not to short-sell."
03/12'09 Jim Cramer interview unedited

"Jon Stewart is doing what the 'real' news media should be doing: he is investigating and attempting to hold people accountable for what they say and do. Whereas, the 'real' news media is pussyfooting around and 'reporting' whatever they are being spoon-fed from others.
What I have a problem with is that Jon Stewart has to be the one to investigate people like Cramer. Where is the New York Times? Where is the hard-hitting investigative journalism? Jon Stewart does not need to adjust how his message is conveyed. He is exemplifying the art of satire." (Sarah, 03/17'09)

03/11'09 The full-blown war of words
03/04'09 The Dow knows all

02/10'09 Obama's war in Iraq may be longer than Bush's war
02/10'09 A truth and reconciliation committee
02/09'09 The News' cognitive dissonance
02/09'09 The press secretary handbook

01/20'09 Watch this!
01/19'09 Final message from the White House
01/15'09 Bethany McLean who broke the Enron scandal
01/13'09 An exercise in just plain profound weirdness
01/06'09 A certain Rupertesque quality

Daily Stewart 2008


Daily Stewart lopo

08/05'08 Sam Bee) I know how to work a source
06/18'08 Touché
05/12'08 You no longer have the authority
03/11'08 Sam Bee) My breaking of his heart to the entire world

10/31'07 Girl's outfit very risqué
09/18'07 Why do we have a Fed, Mr. Greenspan?
09/11'07 My God, the president has been right the whole time
09/11'07 It's all a matter of belief
06/19'07 Sam Bee) The only way we can lose
05/16'07 Sam Bee) I'm a NILF hunter
03/12'07 Sam Bee) Totally doing starbusiness
02/01'07 Stewart on the O'Reilly Factor

10/30'06 Sam Bee) Coming home isn't always easy
10/12'06 Sam Bee) A great deal of charisma
08/21'06 Sam Bee) Snakes on a Plane

12/15'05 Sam Bee) I am swinging for two
11/17'05 Cheney emerged from his bunker in a fighting mode
05/05'05 Catholics run Hollywood

11/09'04 The homosexuality-theatricality connection

10/02'03 Bizarre vagina request
09/10'03 Kate) I totally sold myself to Satan
09/10'03 It was on Fox News and it was sponsored by the Black Congressional Caucus
01/28'03 The Iraqi military is adorable!
"We are waiting for the smoking gun.
The problem is, when you see that smoke coming out of the gun, it's too late, the damage is been done."
On January 13) "The problem with guns that are hidden is you can't see their smoke."
01/21'03 Simon Cowell) "It's insanity! I mean, seriously, I do not understand it."

02/14'02 Your hotness is not right (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos)

10/24'01 Lewis Black) End of the Universe
10/04'01 Kate Beckinsale
10/02'01 Charming Stephen
09/25'01 Aaron Brown, "9/11" Anchorman
09/20'01 September 11, 2001
03/27'01 Richard Lewis) the dog would go ...
02/15'01 Whacking the pachyderm
02/15'01 Lobbyism

08/04'00 No to Bush Jr.
07/17'00 Ipso facto
03/09'00 Dwarf Shortage
02/17'00 Joe Lolli won't stop
01/19'00 Nut case penis cage
01/19'00 Because their genitals tasted funny
01/19'00 Osama bin Laughing
"The Pentagon's aging Nazi rocket team has their egg on its face after the latest test of a prototype anti-missile system failed Tuesday.
The Clinton administration has spent more than 12 billion dollars building a missile defense system to protect against attacks from what it calls 'rogue states' aka starving countries crushed by our economic policies."
01/19'00 Live from London
01/04'00 We scare men, we do

12/06'99 Three brand new custom-made jackets
11/02'99 I'm kind of boring
10/25'99 You're right) What better way to understand the issue than to have two pundits of violently opposing viewpoints disagree with each other.
09/28'99 Silly string plague
07/28'99 When your cat dematerialized
01/12'99 Carman slams the devil

"Some comedian": Bush isn't stupid, he talks like he's talking to someone who is stupid.
How some comedian shot down Crossfire.